Wendy Stories
February 2001

My agent is evil. I fired him.

After all that care I took finding a reputable agent! Finding Andrew , sweet yet maddeningly inept, Andrew who ran an aution and sold Evolution in Action for a tidy sum. Good while it lasted but when the year in our contract was over -- I wanted to get away from his incompetence.

He passed me on to his boss, and there I was with a brand-new best-selling book, being handled by the founder of The Literary Group International! I thought I was in good hands, and I was. Frank did a great job bargaining me a small fortune for Unnatural Selection. Go Frank!

But after all that CARE I took finding an ethical representative, still I ran into one who is as scummy as an autumn pond. As shallow as a crocodile tear. As predatious as a piranha. Piranha Frank thinks he owns me entirely. He thinks these are still the times of slaves, when an agent could cling to a successful writer like a limpet, and demand a cut of everything that writer ever sold.

According to my lawyer, I have satisfied the full terms and conditions of my contract. Over a year ago I asked them to modify their contract to say they earned a commission from only "those contracts negotiated by them." They agreed to take only what they EARNED from SIGNED contracts. I put this phrase in because I'd been warned by my father and I'd been warned by my friend Chris about Colonel Tom Parker tactics. Elvis Presley's notoriously slimy first agent took a cut of him in perpetuity.

I fulfilled the contract to the letter and satisfied its spirit. I used The Literary Group International as my representatives for a full year and more. I asked them to negotiate two Darwin Awards books on my behalf. That's exactly what's specified by our contract.

Piranha Frank Weimann had his lawyer tell my lawyer, "We object to all aspects of the termination and maintain that you do not have the right to negotiate further deals on your own behalf." Is this the action of an ethical man?

Fuck off Frank

Follow the Adventure Back in Time...
Navigation Map
Home | Wendy_Stories | Family | Resume | Bizarre | Contact_Me
Since 1994