Wendy Stories
October 1997

My cousin Ian started a cult.

I'm suffering from Environmental Guilt as I barrel down the freeway in my 1973 Chevy Nova. So very American to take this massive vehicle for a spin on the open road. As I drive, I ponder the actions of my cousin Ian.

Ian is accustomed to growing facial hair every winter. Weather is cold, beards are natural, it's the thing he does. Last year, he worked for a comestible delivery service. They did not allow facial hair except for medical or religious reasons. So Ian said, "It's my religion." They said, "Okay." And everything was cool.

This year, he delivers for a pizza place. It is winter, and he grows his facial hair. As is his custom. But this new emplyer, they do not allow facial hair except for medical or religious reasons. So Ian says, "It's my religion." They say, "Prove it."

So Ian started a religion. Ian is now the executor and sole member of The Church of Natural Science and Wisdom.

You can join too.

< Find out about my new landlords. >
< I used to be married. >


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